Homemade: Chocolate Spiders of the Damned

It’s October 29, two days before Halloween, and it’s snowing out. Granted, it’s a wet, slushy, wintery mix, complete with thunder and lighting, but still, it’s accumulating. This is what my neighborhood looked like this afternoon:

There was no way I was going out in that, especially with a slight cold, but I was fine with the self-confinement because I had all the ingredients for chocolate spiders in the house.

Now, chocolate spiders are probably the trashiest thing in my cooking repertoire, as well as the easiest. Comprised of only three ingredients, chocolate chips, salted peanuts and chow mein noodles (yes, you read that right, chow mein noodles), they’re sweet, salty and addictive, kind of like chocolate covered pretzels. However, they don’t really look like spiders, which is probably why they’re also known as chocolate haystacks, but whatever you want to call them, they’re still a fun Halloween treat.

CHOCOLATE SPIDERS

12 oz. semi-sweet chocolate chips (I use Trader Joe’s)
5 oz. chow mein noodles
1 cup salted peanuts

Weigh out the chow mein noodles in a bowl (chow mein noodles do come in convenient 5-ounce cans, but I couldn’t find them so I had to buy a giant bag), add the peanuts and give it all a little toss so that both ingredients are more or less evenly distributed when you add them to the melted chocolate.

Fill a saucepan with about an inch of water, set it on the stove to boil and put the chocolate chips in a heatproof bowl. You probably won’t have to weigh them out because they tend to come in 12-ounce bags. To make things even easier, if you use regular old supermarket-brand chips like I did, you also won’t have to temper your chocolate. (I’ll get into tempering chocolate in a future post, I promise, if only to justify my overpriced culinary school education.)

Put the bowl of chips over the simmering water (not too high, or they’ll scorch); in the culinary world, this is called a bain marie, which is a fancy French term for “water bath.” Give them a stir once in a while, so everything melts evenly. You can also use a microwave for this; just be careful that the chocolate doesn’t burn.

When the chocolate is completely melted, remove it from the heat, dump in the noodle-peanut mixture and stir until everything is coated.

Yes, I used the black cat dish towel because this is a Halloween post. And I am fully aware of how dorky that is.

Now spoon out little clumps of the mixture onto two baking sheets lined with parchment or Silpat mats if you’ve got them and want to be green like that. How big your make your clumps is up to you–I make mine roughly tarantula-sized.

Finally, stick them in the fridge to set up, which shouldn’t take more than a few minutes. Oh, and make sure you’re listening to some Halloween-centric music while you make chocolate spiders, maybe something like The Damned?

These chocolate spiders are grimly fiendish!


Homemade: Marshmallows

Making marshmallows is like making magic. Seriously, I have no idea how these things work, and yet they do, every single time. I’m sure someone more scientifically minded than I am could explain exactly what happens when you pour hot sugar syrup into gelatin to make it whip up like a big, fluffy cloud, but the thing I really care about is that you end up with a bowl of delicious that is an inexpensive, easy to make, and impressive gift.

The other great thing about marshmallows is that they’re versatile, flavor-wise. You can’t go wrong with a plain vanilla, because, as my brother once said, it’s one of those foods in which the vanilla really gets to shine. Though what I love about this flavor is that they’re the most reminiscent of the Stay-Puft marshmallows with which we all made s’mores as kids. My other favorite is cocoa swirl.

I only mentioned cocoa swirl so I could show off this beautiful picture.

But the recipe I’m sharing is for matcha, or Japanese green tea, marshmallows. First off, I need to tell you that matcha powder is very expensive. About an ounce of the stuff comes in a tiny foil packet inside this little can, pictured next to my iPod for reference:

But it’s worth it, because they rest of the ingredients cost hardly nothing, and these are tasty, beautiful marshmallows. Now, the recipe.

MATCHA MARSHMALLOWS

(I’ve included the weight for each ingredient because I’m a big fan of weighing things out whenever possible. Not only is it more precise, but there’s less to clean. Trust me, get yourself a digital scale. Once you’ve measured your corn syrup directly into the pot rather than into a measuring cup and then scraping it out–two extra items to clean–you’ll thank me.)

2 envelopes Knox brand plain gelatin
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons very cold water (3 fl. oz.)

1 1/2 cups granulated sugar (10 1/2 oz.)
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons water (3 fl. oz.)
1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons corn syrup (7 1/2 fl. oz.)
1/2 teaspoon salt

2 1/2 teaspoons matcha powder
vanilla to taste

First spray an 11 x 7 rectangular baking pan with Pam (or the generic stuff, if you’re cheap like I am), line it with plastic wrap, smooth out the wrinkles, and spray it again, lightly. You can also use an 8 x 8 pan if you want a little more height on your marshmallows. Set this aside, and measure out all of your ingredients. Now combine the gelatin and the first measure of water (very cold!) in a heatproof bowl and give it a little whisk; I use the whisk attachment for my Kitchenaid–again, less to clean. Let this sit; it will become hard, squishy and gelatinous.

Now combine the next four ingredients in a small saucepan, and have a candy thermometer ready. Most recipes say to cook the syrup over medium heat, but I’m impatient, so I cook it at full blast without problem. As soon as it comes to a full boil, stick in your thermometer and let it cook to 240° Fahrenheit, or softball stage.

Getting there. . .

When your syrup is at the right temperature, take it off the heat and start your mixer on the lowest speed possible to break up the gelatin mixture a little. Then slowly, pour the syrup down the side of the mixing bowl, being careful not to pour it into the whisk, which will make it spatter; nothing sucks more than a sugar burn.

Once you’ve finished pouring, your mixture will smell weird and look like watery milk. Don’t worry, that’s normal. Turn up the speed to medium for about a minute and then as high as it can go, and let it whip until it’s shiny, fluffy and white, like in the picture at the top of this post, usually about 10–12 minutes. Then turn off the mixer, add the matcha powder and whisk that in on high. Stop the mixer again and taste this before adding a little splash of vanilla if you want, and maybe a pinch more salt if you think it’s necessary (I often do).

Scrape this mixture into your prepared pan–I use a sprayed spatula–and smooth it out. I think using your hands is easiest and quickest if you don’t mind getting messy; I spray mine with my fake Pam, but you could also use a little water on your hands. Finally, wrap the pan with foil or plastic so that it’s air-tight, and let it sit overnight to firm up. Oh, and make sure you eat some of that fresh, warm marshmallow that’s still clinging to your whisk; it never gets better than this.

TO CUT: In a bowl, whisk together 3/4 cup confectioners sugar, 1/3 cup cornstarch and a little bit of the matcha powder (and make sure you’re wearing an apron, or know that whatever you’re wearing now, you will not be wearing later, because you WILL get this stuff all over you). Using a mesh sieve, dust some of this powder  all over the top of the marshmallow slab while it’s still in the pan. Then cover the pan with parchment paper and a cutting board before carefully flipping everything over so that the cutting board is on the bottom. Gently, tug on the overhang of the plastic wrap, and the slab should plop right out. Discard the plastic, and dust this side of the slab with more of the powder mixture. Finally, cut into squares using a large, sharp knife, or into shapes using cookie cutters, tossing the marshmallows in the bowl of cornstarch/confectioners sugar as you go. The whole operation will look something like this (check out the pretty green color):

When you’re done cutting, make sure the marshmallows are in an air-tight container, like Tupperware or a Ziplock bag. If you’re not giving them away (or eating them) immediately, stick them in the freezer; I find that they last for a good, long while in there. You can also toast them like store-bought marshmallows, though they come out more brûléed than charcoal-y, which I think is an improvement. As far as I’m concerned, the only thing better about Stay-Puft is that they don’t make a mess out of your kitchen!